I was talking to someone this last week who said she finally felt good about the money she was making but was still struggling to feel good about the experiences she wanted to have.

For example, she wants to fly first class when she travels, but she feels unworthy of that experience.

Somewhere in her mind she tells herself she doesn’t need to fly first class. Coach is just as good.

I’m also a fan of flying first class.

I’m a taller person and broad. I’m more comfortable in first class. It’s a nicer experience for me. That doesn’t mean that flying coach is beneath me.

Wanting one thing doesn’t automatically mean we are anti the opposite thing or better than.

Wants are about preferences and interests and we are allowed to have them.

We may have been taught as kids that we can’t have everything we want or that we can only buy stuff that we need but that doesn’t have to remain true as an adult.

In fact, it shouldn’t.

The only way to lean into our wealth and the experiences it provides is to start recognizing and claiming our wants and being comfortable with having them.

When we want something, we have more drive to get it. There’s more energy there.

If we have big visions of the impact we want to make which is going to take a big amount of financial resources we can’t think within the lens of ‘what we need’ or we’ll never get anywhere.

When we change the conversation to WANT it drives us towards solutions for receiving that very thing.

So, we need to start understanding what it is that we really want, own it and lean into it.

We need to learn to treat ourselves even to just small things because when we do that, the bigger things become easier to manifest.

It’s time to work this muscle otherwise we’ll be in a place saying that one day we’ll have it but that one day will never come.

Here’s the 3-2-1 on leaning into what we want.


  1. We limit ourselves when we decide we are unworthy of the experiences we want and only worthy of those we need. As soon as we start to compromise on our wants, we compromise on other things.
  2. If we continue to say we need things, there is an energetic property that doesn’t propel us forward for those things we need. When we want something, there’s more drive to create solutions to get it.
  3. Minority groups have a harder time accessing what they want because they are frequently told what they can and cannot have as a result of institutional racism and oppression.


  1. Start changing your language from ‘need’ to ‘want’. Catch yourself when you start grilling yourself about whether that want is necessary.
  2. Choose one thing you really want and own it by writing it down or telling a friend.


  1. What’s the next experience I really want?

This money conversation continues on YouTube. Check out What Experience Do You Want? and make sure to subscribe while you’re there.

To your impact and legacy,